I'll marry you!

Last night a very good friend of mine asked me to do something I'd never done before: officiate a wedding. His wedding. Needless to say, I was touched. And because this man happens to be one of the finest exemplars of the human species I've ever met (ok, that and I really want to don clergy robes), I immediately accepted. So today I set out on the curious endeavor of getting ordained—a process which, in this era of flying cars and wireless Interwebs, took approximately 30 seconds. For those of you who don't yet know, the Universal Life Church can have you ordained faster than you can download Left Behind to your Kindle2. Now that I'm a Reverend, I join a storied congregation that includes such illustrious members as well-known director John Waters, and several of my less responsible friends. So hurry up and propose to her already. I'm bored shitless.