Wednesday, March 25, 2009
the various and sundry signs of the apocalypse
As the shit hits the fan, shit just keeps getting weirder. Apparently there have been so many foreclosures in Las Vegas recently that a mosquito epidemic has broken out from all those abandoned swimming pools. So now, the county is actually hiring people to go from property to property and release mosquito larva-eating minnows into all that stagnant water (hey, it creates new jobs!). Of course, the article says nothing of the already bizzarro-world scenario of mosquitoes in the middle of the goddamn desert.
From the article:
Long term is key, as foreclosed homes tend to remain ignored for months or longer and fetid pools can lead to such mosquito-borne diseases as West Nile virus. Last year 16 cases of West Nile virus were reported statewide. The district received 2,854 complaints about green pools last year, up from a previous high of 1,624 in 2007. This year the district has dealt with 271 complaints, nearly 100 more than this time last year.
If you're still not convinced that it's time to hawk all your possessions, stock up on canned goods, and move to an underground bunker in Greenland, here's another piece of solid evidence for the encroaching End Times: a $250,000 wristwatch that does for you what the three witches did for Macbeth:
Borgeaud, a Swiss manufacturer of premium watches, has teamed with Indian astrologers to produce a fortune-telling watch. The company's "Panchang" line allegedly combines "the best of Swiss watch-making and one of the world's oldest almanacs" to produce a timepiece that will tell users when disaster is poised to strike. The silver-faced watch features what Ananova describes as a "bedpan-shaped" cutout. The space is generally blue, but occasionally will fill with a brown color, indicating that astral forces are poised to wreak havok on one's life. These looming terrors correspond to the "Rahu Kaal;" according to Indian Vedic astrology these dark periods are inauspicious times in which to begin new undertakings.
Dark times indeed. One can only hope that sucker's Rahu Kaal predictor accounts for Daylight Saving Time. You don't want to be caught without an umbrella for the rain of frogs. (Speaking of which, a record of the various times it's already rained animals, divided into species.)
See you all on the other side.
Posted by Ian at 3:05 PM